Written by Anthony Osman on .


Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. This is what they call a rally. When I would play I'd try to be a cunt when hitting the ball back and I am sure the professionals are too. That is how you get points and win isn't it? The other person cocks up so much take the game. The highlight of tennis, it is played when the weather is sunny. Also it's every year. Summer time footy is only once every two years and has all that pressure of getting through the group stages and then only to be knocked out of the begging of the tournament. With tennis I am not routing for any of them. Fred Perry is already dead and left a legacy of tops behind. So I can just watch the game. This is when the camera decides too, and not pick out the who's who in the crowds. Why do I care if Pippa Middleton is sat at centre court. I want watch the tennis. I wonder if Robinsons fruit juice profits go up during Wimbledon? That was an annoyance of a movie. Actually I should try it again with my drinking game. Ah-ha it's a good game! Take a Kirsten Dunst movie when she is an adult Spider-Man is your best bet, now for each time she is trying to smuggle peanuts down her top have a drink or shot. You will be pissed because I think Sam Raimi directed New York to be a very could temperature on set. If you make it through the whole trilogy, you will be sloshed. Back to the sport. Have you every tried to play on grass? Blooming heck is that tuff. You really have to smack that ball to get it moving. Some men may require Stella Artois before they play the game. They'd be shit also cause they'll be pissed. My back hand is a little crazy and tends to zoom off somewhere or in some ones face. I do like to play. I am probably not any good, but hell it is fun. much more enjoyable than watching it on the telly. How come it is strawberries and cream also? Where does this tradition come from? I could wikipedia that I guest, but that's still just some one ells guest. There is also a connection to Cliff Richard. That shrivelled up old prune is before my time. I do sometimes sing "Summer Holiday" through King Georges playing fields as I'm walking through it. That and "You Can Have It All" by Yo La Tengo. So for me tennis is sunshine, warmth, some running around and maybe cider. A fruity cider because apple cider fucks with my teeth like Sunny Delight. I'd really like to do an fate type thing this summer. You know egg and spoon race, sack racing, whack the rat and a tombola. That would be fun.