What was it you needed?
I am so sorry for you, I know you cannot hear me or read this now my words are too little too late. And yes I have no idea who you are, but yesterday you must of been so low, so hurt, so scared and frightened, so weak and vulnerable . You should of never had to of felt like you had catch a moving train. I would have listened to you, sat with you had a cup of tea. I would of lent my ear, my shoulder; I would of shown you what compassion and aid I have to give. I am not hear to judge you or call you a failure. I know some folk would been disrupted by your last event in life and cured you for their now late running. Naming you selfish, however I think more of the fact is you probably like put others before yourself. That the words and action from people do matter and after many negative experiences the value in yourself disappears and you ask "How can be always willing to love so much, but feel empty in the lack of empathy from others?" There is love in people and goodness, when you look inwards with respect and a positive light it can be seen reflect in the world and the people around you. I know it can be hard if your trying to please someone that it is always putting you down, but you don't have to. If a person is not will to show the same love and understanding in an unconditional way, then let them go and feel their shallow void by someone ells who meet their conditions. You have no need to keep the hateful abuse gain from some others and turn it inwards with your own voice. Yesterday the tenth of November you took your own life in what I can only imagine would of been horrifically painful, and you did not deserve to punish yourself in this way. I cannot help you know.
To you reader I can. Put a stop to your negative voices that put you down. Smile and enjoy life. Look out for people, not only you friends and family but your neighbour too. We all go through life, celebrate it and if someone is dancing to a different track know you can make your own beat.
Today tell a person that you know is their for you that you love them. Give a smile to a stranger and really listen when someone is talking to you. Pay attention to people in your life and make them feel important, I can guarantee if that person truly respects you that they pay attention and make you feel important too. Look out for the down in the dumps we can all get like it, but it never has to take over a persons life.
I'd like to thank my Mum Carol, my Dad Stephen, my Step Mum Elaine, my amazing Brother Graham, my three wonderful Sisters Vanessa, Alex and Faith, my little Nephew Riley and his Daddy Dan, my friends Rob, David, Phoebe, Philip, Craig, Dave, Georg, Steve, Laura, Izzy, Sophia, Nicholas, Martin, Luke and everyone who gives me the time of day. I do have so much love for you all and I am outstanded every time you are there for me. I would also like to thank the people I have let into my life and have since left, I will always have a place in my heart for you and I can forgive and never forget.
To the people I have not yet met, I look forward to when we do.